The Art of Release — A Birthday Reflection on Non-Attachment

Our birthdays are a culmination of our personal journey around the sun — the closing of one cycle and the birth of another.

As a Scorpio, I feel this transformation deeply. This year, I experienced many losses… though when I look closer, I see they were really releases of attachment — not such gentle lessons from life inviting me to let go, but rather my soul’s own desires and tasks for growth and evolution.

These attachments were woven through my sense of safety and identity, holding me captive far longer than I ever realised. Then, life — as it lovingly does — sent me the necessary nudges: situations that felt painful, shocking, or unfair at first, yet each carried the seed of growth.

Through resistance came awareness. Through awareness came acceptance. And through acceptance — freedom.

Practicing Aparigraha — The Fifth Yama

This reflection is rooted in the fifth Yama of yoga: Aparigraha, the practice of non-attachment. It is part of our yogic studies and a path we follow daily through awareness of our actions and thoughts, our daily practice — on and off the mat — for those who choose this path of life.

Aparigraha teaches us to take only what we need, keep only what serves us in the moment, and to let go when the time is right. By observing our attachments — to people, possessions, identities, or outcomes — we begin to see how tightly we cling in the name of safety. With practice, the grip softens, and we begin to feel spacious again.

Letting Go of What Grounded Me

This year, I released my attachment to my home — the longest I’ve lived anywhere since I was a baby. I was moved a lot as a child, then to another country, and then again — so many places, so many flats. It became easy to get up and go.

Then, for eight years, I was rooted in one place because my daughter asked me to stay so she could finish school. That experience gave me grounding and safety, and I know I needed that for that period of time. Yet, over time, that same grounding grew heavy.

When I finally moved — letting go of about 60% of our belongings — I felt so light. I felt new energy flowing through me, opening space for creativity. I deeply felt that home is inside us, not in external attachments we cling to for security.

Of course, some shadows of missing that space rose during my birthday blues, but I welcomed them as old friends — gentle reminders of my capacity to root within myself, not in a place.

Letting Go of the Need to Be Loved

Another deep release came from my longing to be loved — the attachment to being chosen, needed, validated.

For years, this desire guided my romantic choices. I often projected extraordinary qualities onto others that they never truly embodied — all rooted in childhood wounds.

Then, one day, as I was struggling with health issues and feeling extra sensitive, something so profound came to me: it was my mother’s love that I had been missing as a child. When I shared this with her, I heard the most important words — “I love you.” I knew and felt everything she meant, and it was as if all those wounds finally stopped bleeding.

I stepped into the deepest self-love and appreciation — a strong source of power from within. A new realisation dawned: no more wasting my time on emotionally unavailable men. Enough.

Although that realisation cost me the loss of a person who had occupied a big place in my heart, self-love became my foundation. With it, a quiet, unwavering confidence has blossomed. Honestly, I had searched for that feeling for a long, long time — not just to know it, but to truly feel it.

Letting Go as a Mother

This year also brought the tender practice of releasing my daughter into her independence.

For months, I grieved her leaving the nest — the end of a lifelong chapter of togetherness. The tears came long before the departure, and I realised how much of my identity had been woven around being “mama.”

As a single mother, it was always my daughter first — creating and building a comfortable and loving life for her. I didn’t know myself alone; I was so young when I had her that my identity never fully developed outside of motherhood in its own way, Iv grown and expanded but not as a person alone belonging to myself, I’ve always been in company of my daughter.

The fears and tears were overwhelming. This was the hardest to process — but everything needs time. Life moves from one stage to another, and each phase requires its own period of adjustment.

Being a highly sensitive Scorpio, I have to go through it all — to the depth, to the bottom. But once I’m through, I go on — free.

The Gifts of Letting Go

All these releases — home, love, motherhood — brought me closer to myself.

They taught me patience, deep trust, and the beauty of surrender. They reminded me that everything happens for us, not to us. Each challenge is a soul-crafted invitation to evolve.

Today, I trust my intuition completely. I listen to my body as my greatest guide. The mind still whispers fears, but the body speaks truth — and through her wisdom, I walk freely.

With every loss, I have gained more clarity, strength, and peace. This year’s journey has been my living practice of Aparigraha — a sacred return to my soul’s nature.

Closing Reflection

As I write this, inspired by reflection on my year and birthday — 11.11, the number of alignment — I feel immense gratitude for the lessons, the tears, and the transformations.

To anyone reading this: may you find the courage to loosen your own grip. Let the old fall away. Trust that what is meant for you will stay with ease.

Because the more we release, the more space we create for grace to enter.

Happy birthday to me — and to every soul beginning a new cycle of light. 🤍

Want to know more on Aparigraha?

Aparigraha is the fifth Yama from the first limb of yoga — a yogic philosophy that we live and follow as dedicated yoga teachers devoted to the practice.

Aparigraha translates as “non-greed,” “non-possessiveness,” and “non-attachment.”
The word graha means “to take, to seize, or to grab,” pari means “on all sides,” and the prefix a- negates the word — so it essentially means “non.”

Aparigraha can be practiced daily by observing our attachments to things and people, food or habits — everything needs balance. The things we do should nurture and fulfil us, but not define or imprison us.

How Can You Practice Aparigraha Daily?

Choose a few habits related to this Yama and observe, through daily actions, how you can change your relationship to that thing, person, or attachment.

Commit for seven days to begin with — and journal what comes up.

Love,